great or nothing

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(My latest article in Elephant Journal this week–click through at the bottom to read the complete article – hope you like it!)

Why it’s Going to be Great or Nothing.

In a tone completely lacking in condescension, he asked, “Why don’t you just get what you want?”

It was entirely foreign to this man, my date, that anyone would ever consider anything they didn’t really want.

I had recently ditched my Toyota Previa out of vanity. I was newly divorced, childless and driving a mini-van. It had to go. I got into a much “cooler” red, metallic, brand new, sporty Chevy Blazer. I hated it from the start. It had a bumpy ride, the seats were stiff and the cup holders sucked. I’d finally admitted this to Sam, my date.

I missed my cozy silver-bullet shaped van with its sliding doors, double sunroof, hug-your-ass seats, smooth ride, abundance of cup holders and black bra. Yet I judged it. I judged myself in it. I was kicking myself for replacing it with something so not me.

Sam’s question landed like lightning in my brain. Why am I settling for this shiny new object that I don’t like?

By the time I got home (from what turned out to be our last date), I had already answered the question. What I really wanted was that pearl white Lexus mini SUV. That was a me car.

I started researching immediately, threw caution and a year’s worth of car payments to the wind, and found what I wanted. I walked in to the dealer a week later and traded in Mr. Wrong for Ms. Right. In the nine years I drove that gorgeous perfection on four wheels I’ve never regretted my decision. I only thought of the Blazer in the fond memory of getting rid of it. It was a great car, just not my car.

Little by little, I began applying this gem (of a process) to broader areas of my life, as I distilled it to one question: “Is this ______ great?”

My motto became simple—it’s going to be great or nothing.

Finish reading here.

fox face makeup tutorial

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I had great fun getting my fox on last weekend for a costume party so decided to make a bit of a tutorial to help anyone else out there do this amazing 3D looking fox face. Enjoy! Feel free to share your own with me if you end up doing it! I had as much fun getting ready for the party as I did at the party (which was spectacular) because I just love a creative project! 🙂

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This Pinterest pic was my inspiration.

First off I slathered my face with this Smashbox primer to create a canvas and protect my skin somewhat from all the junk I was getting ready to cake it with.

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My basic supplies:

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I picked up from Target some basic Halloween costume makeup–black and white. Then went to the cosmetics section and found a LA Colors matte orange lip crayon (which was perfect) and an eye shadow trio–both in the 99 cent range.

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I already had that eye shadow palette which was perfect in all those reds golds and bronze tones to do my highlighting and shading.

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Before–bare face

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Before anything I put a thick matte foundation all over my face which I later kind of regretted on the lower half when I started applying the white as it bled through a bit.

Started with the lightest shades–made a foundation of white in these key areas–used both the crayon and the white costume makeup for this. The makeup in the tube was really not thick enough but I had used it as a foundation all over my chin.

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Used that gel eye liner to start drawing on some black areas–under my chin

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This was a perfect crayon for the coloring here. I put bronze colors on top of it some places but the color was spot on. Target for 99 cents.

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Used some tan foundation and concealer to create contrast around my eyes and nose then went to town with the orange crayon in key areas on my cheeks, forehead and upper eyes.

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Started getting more dramatic with black–using a liquid eye liner, to draw the areas under my nose, laugh lines, dramatic eye shapes and around my mouth. Also started incorporating some brown eye pencils for shading in contrast. I also started playing with some various contrasting rusts and browns in powder eye shadows on my forehead and cheeks.

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Found some yellow concealer and a gold crayon and used that for contrasting color under my eyes and on my nose and between eyebrows. with more white to highlight.

The black detailing around the mouth area gives it the 3D look. See how my entire upper lip is black?

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I made all the blacks blacker and sort of set them with a black eye shadow from that big palette  using a small flat makeup brush. I used about 5 brushes of varying sizes plus makeup sponges and about 30 q tips. I also used my fingers a lot to work the colors in.

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Toward the end I really played with shading with browns and rust color eye shadows along the sides of my nose and forehead. I used an eyelash brush (looks like a mascara brush) along the transition areas to give it a feathery furry look. I used a makeup brush to bring the colors in to my hairline as well.

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The final product! As you can see I also brushed my neck and chest area with bronzer and reddish eye shadow to bring it in to the mix. The under side of my chin area is almost completely black.

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Me at the party with a 14 year old Derek Zoolander. My lips had worn off a bit from, well sipping some libations. 😀

Hope some of you out there have as much fun as I did with this costume!

Oh and I got my costume itself from Halloweencostumes.com. It was a great comfortable costume to wear!

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Happy Halloween! May you get more treats than tricks!

weaving, woven

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I woke up this morning in Edmonds, opened the blind over the huge picture window at the head of the bed and on the side I was sleeping appeared a dangling spider. I looked more closely as clearly it was swaying from side to side and not attached to the window, to see it was situated firmly in the center of about a 24 inch perfectly woven web.

My husband who reads animal cards every single day sat right down, pulled and read the spider card for me and the words that stuck out were “create, create, create”.

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Before noticing the spider – who remains right there, right over my pillow 10 hours later – my mind was filled with ideas as I woke up early to the sounds of train whistles, ferry horns and my husband’s sweet rhythmic breath of slumber.

I was thinking about this great life we’ve found ourselves smack dab in the middle of, seemingly out of nowhere. Yet just like that spider, we’ve been weaving it for years, decades even. Every time we held on to a wish, a feeling of deservingness against all odds, we were weaving.

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Yesterday we had one of those days that while you’re in the middle of it, you know you will reflect on it for years to come as one of your best days ever.

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It started out on the train–the Amtrak Empire Builder that we hopped on on it’s very last leg from Chicago to Seattle. It was just a 30 minute ride but truly spectacular. We sat in the upper level and felt like we glided on air along the Puget Sound coastline in our reclining comfortable leather seats side by side.

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My husband is a total train nut so seeing him in his element was also a thrill for me. He has studied every aspect of trains all his life and is filled with minute details about the cars, engines, the rails themselves. He was like a kid in a candy store.

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We landed in Seattle in to the most gorgeous train station I’ve ever seen, not that I’ve seen that many, but I had no idea a station existed as a living art form like this. We oohed and ahhed at the carved walls and ceilings and certainly noticed that we’d both landed on Track 5 to debark and were welcomed in to Door 5. Our 5’s just keep showing up over and over again. Like magical stepping stones.

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We embarked out on our day of exploring in Seattle with very little planned other than tickets to see the movie The Martian at the famous Cinerama movie theatre at 3:15. And our return trip on the train at 6:50.

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We simply started walking, found a hat to replace the one my bald husband lost the day before on our way and meandered our way to Pike Place Market by 10:30. We decided to get a bite to eat at the well known Lowell’s cafe with it’s gorgeous 3 story views and landed at, you guessed it, a waterfront table. As we finished our breakfast the crowd kind of thinned and out came our travel chess set. John’s been teaching me chess this trip so we’ve been playing it on the go from the airplane to happy hour to coffee shops. Of course I lose every single time but that’s to be expected. At least I give him a run for his money and staved him off my King for over an hour one time. Psych vics he calls my psychological victories which are increasing my confidence.

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We wound our way through the market then huffed up a STEEP hill to my favorite tiny coffee shop in Seattle, Moore’s. It’s my favorite because a. it’s out of the way b. I love this Cafe Madrid they serve there and c. they are famous for putting designs in the foam. I got the Madrid, John got hot chocolate and we sat on the tiny patio on the street, you guessed it, playing chess. I got my very first “Check!” during that game…SCORE!

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From there we found our way to Cinerama, careful to be on time as last time we went we deedawdled drinking champagne in a nearby lounge and were half an hour late. The movie was really good and we had great seats where we could prop our feet on the railing in front of us. We sure love our movies. And the half regular half chocolate popcorn they uniquely offer there.

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We had just about enough time afterward to quickly hoof it the mile and a half back to the Amtrak Station and got there just minutes before they started boarding the Cascade train back to Edmonds. Another fantastic ride but this time we got the sunset–spectacular seems too small a word for it. Gliding along like that taking in the scenery with our legs stretched out on one another’s laps like lazy dogs–heaven.

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It was just one of those days–one you will never forget. Only to be capped with one of our favorite dinners–the “nack paddler” (snack platter) of Washington cheeses, crackers, almonds, fruit and a delicious bottle of white wine from our Finger Lakes wine weekend he’d hauled all the way from PA. Everything with us is a celebration filled with fun and love and humor.

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And we don’t seem to be slowing down at all–the opposite–we’re accelerating. And gliding on air.

I went from the most unlucky person in love I really knew to the luckiest.

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All I can say right now about that is when your dream is standing before you, grab it and don’t look back or even sideways. Just grab it and leap.

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Then you can look out and see the web that’s been woven all along, just waiting for you to take your rightful place at it’s very center, safe, supported and vibrantly alive.

Oh, and PS? We went and looked at a home here in Edmonds today that is very likely our dream home and on the way in saw two dangling spiders. Wish us luck on that lottery ticket we bought using the numbers from a card left behind for me in a fortune telling machine at the Market yesterday.

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writing again

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Greetings from gorgeous Edmonds, WA where I attended the Write on the Sound conference again–this time with my husband.

Just wrote a blog about it over on Middle Child.

Feel free to take a gander here.

Life is good! 🙂

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