(My latest article in Elephant Journal this week–click through at the bottom to read the complete article – hope you like it!)

Why it’s Going to be Great or Nothing.

In a tone completely lacking in condescension, he asked, “Why don’t you just get what you want?”

It was entirely foreign to this man, my date, that anyone would ever consider anything they didn’t really want.

I had recently ditched my Toyota Previa out of vanity. I was newly divorced, childless and driving a mini-van. It had to go. I got into a much “cooler” red, metallic, brand new, sporty Chevy Blazer. I hated it from the start. It had a bumpy ride, the seats were stiff and the cup holders sucked. I’d finally admitted this to Sam, my date.

I missed my cozy silver-bullet shaped van with its sliding doors, double sunroof, hug-your-ass seats, smooth ride, abundance of cup holders and black bra. Yet I judged it. I judged myself in it. I was kicking myself for replacing it with something so not me.

Sam’s question landed like lightning in my brain. Why am I settling for this shiny new object that I don’t like?

By the time I got home (from what turned out to be our last date), I had already answered the question. What I really wanted was that pearl white Lexus mini SUV. That was a me car.

I started researching immediately, threw caution and a year’s worth of car payments to the wind, and found what I wanted. I walked in to the dealer a week later and traded in Mr. Wrong for Ms. Right. In the nine years I drove that gorgeous perfection on four wheels I’ve never regretted my decision. I only thought of the Blazer in the fond memory of getting rid of it. It was a great car, just not my car.

Little by little, I began applying this gem (of a process) to broader areas of my life, as I distilled it to one question: “Is this ______ great?”

My motto became simple—it’s going to be great or nothing.

Finish reading here.