Contact Kathy


I can be reached by email at:

I’m also found on twitter under the same name: @ katiecoolady.

16 thoughts on “Contact Kathy

  1. cheryl foldes

    I read your letter to the jurors and my sentiments are very much the same. I lost my daughter to a very brutal murder Holly Dembie in 2011. I followed the trial of Jodi Arias because it reminded me of the brutality of her murder and we were still pending a trial. Our trial ended in 2013 with a lwp sentence. I agree with you that the death penalty connects the family too much with the process of years, with the family being bound in ways to the murderer. I prefer lwop to that because the family can disconnect from them emotionally and let the system deal with them as we heal and move on. I had complications because my daughter left a small 4 year old who had very emotional ptsd and trauma after he lost his entire family. Thank you for the very truthful and rational discussion of what the death penalty really means to families. Myself, I prefer the life sentence which exonerates us from all the details of getting the judicial system to take yet another life. I’m not against it and I believe it is just, but it doesn’t happen soon enough! Years and years of appeals. I worked with a woman whose brother Frank Spisak in Cleveland, OH took three lives it took 28 years to finally execute him. Frankly, that’s too long and far removed from the justice that victims would have if it were fast tracked and sooner. Many people don’t like it because they think that some criminals are innocent and “mentally ill”, and maybe even redeemable….forgiveness is something that I don’t have for the killer of my daughter. Not because I’m not a forgiving person, but because I knew that his act of murder was planned and deliberate. I talked to my daughter within an hour of her being murdered by her husband and then he came to our house (two doors away) looking to finish his rage on all of us. We weren’t home at the late hour he chose to slaughter her, we were at a double film movie drive-in. I want you to know that I too will have to process the unthinkable loss of a family member, my daughter by murder. Thank you for expressing the need for change for victim’s of crime. I followed the trial of Jodi Arias with that same thought in my mind. This case set a precedent that is surreal! No victim should have their character assassinated by the murderer! This was her vendetta also, just like the juror who withheld her true intentions to deliberate and bring a sense of justice to the Alexander’s. This is the kind of abomination that we need to change: When a victim is made to be the villain after death by the perpetrator! I am so with you on this change! If you ever need the kind of support of other murdered victims families I would like to be added to the calling.
    Cheryl Foldes

  2. Pam Giles

    Thank you for speaking up about the trial. My beloved grandfather was murdered his murderer was convicted only to have it over turned. I needed your words as I have followed this trial every day for years. Bless you.

  3. Darlene Johnston

    Thank you for posting those photos of Cindy. We were regulars at Nello’s and “Tinny” was my little girl’s favorite. Cindy would carry Lauren around while waiting tables. Cutest thing ever. I loved your sister and was heartbroken when we lost her. She was sweet, funny and so kind. I remember her every Christmas.

    • Oh Darlene, thank you so much for sharing this. It means so much to know that people still remember Cindy. yes, she was all of those things and we were all lucky to have her. ❤

  4. robert mcgraw

    i believe i know you and your sister Cindy. I am Robert McGraw and was a graduate student at Illinois State University in the late 1970’s graduating in 1980. I believe you were both undergraduate students there at that time and I spent time with both of you. I rented a home in Bloomington while attending ISU. I just viewed for the first time the murder of your sister on television today. You have my deepest sympathy even if it turns out we don’t know each other. Please let me know.

      • robert

        What a shock it was to see that! I am so sorry about Cindy. I have lived in Cleveland since 1981 the year I graduated from ISU. I also lived in Arizona in the early 1970’s – Tempe. I may have shared that with you at outr time together. I do recall how good I felt about you and your sister.

  5. Arlene


    I grew up in Bloomington IL on Western Ave, a block from Western Ave Community Center. My neighbors were an older couple whose name was Monckman. I believe they were my former co-worker, Dennis Monckman’s grandparents or parents; I have not seen Dennis in a few years so my memory is foggy. I attended Sheridan School with a cousin of Dennis’ whose last name is Campbell. Are you related to the couple I lived near & Dennis. I may have known both of you as well. I was born in 1959. My heart goes out to you & your entire family. When I first saw this on TV, I cried & became angry. The level of evil that resides in the souls of humans attempt to destroy the good in others. Please know that people care about you & send love to you.

  6. elvisa77

    Dear Kathy,

    I am reading a book “True Crime USA” and the murder of your beloved sister Cindy.
    I am from Germany and feel so ashamed that two german men did this horryfying murder – or must I say “slaughter” – of Cindy.
    But, I want you to know that I am sending prayers your way across the ocean.
    Cindy is on my mind, now, here, today.
    With kind regards

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