60

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cindymommy

As most people do, I’ve been reflecting on many things heading up to this milestone birthday today. I’ve made it to 60! I can hardly believe it!

Diving in to my past and my family over my month of writing has led me here, thinking a lot about my mother and sister who never came close to the age I’ve just turned.

Cindy barely made it to 30 and my mother, 36.

They never got to experience aging in any form. They never got one gray hair that I have a full head of now. They never got wrinkles. They never experienced a hot flash with menopause. They never got a middle age spread (and beyond like I have). They never slowed down energy wise or started to feel less flexible in their bodies.

They also never got to travel all the places they wanted to go. Cindy never got to be a mother as she so desperately wanted. My mother never got to see me grow up. They never got to fully know their dreams, much less realize them. They never got to experience the deepening in love and wisdom that comes with age. They never got to retire from a job. They never got to build a home.

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So many things I’ve already experienced that I take for granted.
I’m sure both of them would take every gray hair and every extra pound to have one more moment on this Earth and with me.

So, I dedicate this birthday and this entire year to them. Maybe the rest of my life actually.

To take them with me, to let them experience all this life has with all of its issues with growing old in it and living a life to its fullest in to a ripe old age. Crossing over in the time frame you’re supposed to.

I’m taking them with me through all of it, everywhere I travel, every brush stroke of paint I put on a canvas this year, growing old as Lillian grows up, every flower I place in a vase, every new friend I make, every kiss and hug from my loving husband, every dream I fulfill or new one that gets drummed up in me. I invite them along.

My husband just said “we literally have all day” today to move through this day at our own pace and do what we want, when we want. No pushing, just allowing. That is 60 to me (but we do have a dinner reservation of course  )

Time is a luxury that I intend to embrace to the fullest, while not being alone in all my spaces, here and going forward.

We’re doing this together ladies from here on out and it’s gonna be one hell of an adventure.

Now wish me luck as I compete for a coveted spot in a training I am registering for–opening at 9am today of all days..surely there will be a spot for me!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone! So far, 60 is giving it all!

meIF1

 

 

6 thoughts on “60

  1. Carol Davis

    Ahhhhhh my friend…you are wearing your hard earned wisdom well. Just as the mud is necessary for the lotus to bloom…you have reached the place where you glow with the refinement of the tragedies you have had to bear

  2. Have a wonderful 60th birthday year! I wasn’t particularly looking forward to my 60th birthday until I started planning a party and gave it an Alice in Wonderland theme. I’ve been living down the rabbit hole the last two years, and needed something positive to look forward to next May. Planning the party is making the entire year preceding my birthday fun. Additionally, reading your post has given me a new and different perspective to ponder. P.S. I love your blog, and agree with your Arias comments 100%.

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