Dear Marian



Dear Marian,

Like you, I hesistate to address you on my blog, likely for different reasons that you hestitated addressing me. I’m sensing that you likely considered how inappropriate it would be for you to come to my “home” here, and say the things you did. My hesitation, though, is more about giving you more attention than what you are seeking for yourself. So, let me be clear. I am using you as an example. I am addressing you for the sole purpose of allowing my other readers to see what the aftermath of the death penalty is really about for families of victims. So,  your contribution is valuable.

For those who missed it, Marian made a comment on the blog here, related to a post I shared about the True Conviction show airing. In fact, on that particular post, I wrote specifically, about how the show was so healing for me to participate in, which it was. The very act of making me go through photographs and memories, opened some doors in my heart that I had been afraid of knocking on for some time. The way I was treated by the entire production team, including Anna Sigga Niccolazzi, was so respectful. And I guess on some level, after all this time, it just feels good to know people still care about Cindy. I don’t know if you even read the post you replied to Marian, but that makes your comment even more bizarre.

Here is Marian’s comment to me:

Kathy, I am not sure if I should leave a reply here, but the case is near to my heart as I have been writing with Michael for 2 years now. I don’t know if he did the crime or not. All I know that he wholly believes in his innocence and that he has been treated very badly in the American prisons. Even Amnesty has made a report about it. He has been in solitariy confinement for over 25 years. If he was ever guilty he has had his punishment. Each person deserves forgiveness.
Of course I cannot or ever will be able to understand your pain and anger. All I know is that forgivess is the best healer. I wish you strength and courage and above all healing.

And this was my reply back to her, yesterday:

Marian, I do understand that there is a culture of people (usually women) who feel the need to write murderers in prison and feel sympathy for them. Some even marry sociopaths like Michael Apelt (one already did then divorced him as I understand). I do understand this phenomenon and like you cannot understand my pain, I certainly cannot understand your motivation for this attempt to save a murderer. Yet I would not ever take it upon myself to attempt to “school” you on how you, a stranger, chooses to live their life.

Michael Apelt, wearing the same European -made, size 15 Reebok tennis shoe (you do know he’s 6 foot 7 , so has an unusually large foot), stood on my sister’s face while she was still alive, leaving his foot print behind as a bruise. I guess you might think there would be another man, who purchased a unique European Reebok tennis shoe with this exact same print, who would have had a motive to kill her and lie like Michael did about “ever wearing tennis shoes because they made his feet stink”, who committed this murder. Guess that didn’t work out too well, when a photograph was discovered still in my sister’s camera, of him posing wearing those exact European made Reebok tennis shoes, of the same large size. Maybe you saw this photo on True Conviction. It was real. The jury who convicted him saw it blown up as poster sized in the courtroom. Of course he disposed of the bloody shoes, as he did his clothing, according to his other accomplice Anke Dorn.

Or a man who commandeered the car Michael was known to be driving out there in the desert that night, destroy the tires, then have those destroyed tires recovered which matched the tire tracks at the scene. I could go on and on but perhaps you would like to purchase and read the book I’m writing on the case when it comes out.

In the meantime, maybe you’d like to contact his appellate lawyers who have already admitted he committed the murder (and conspiracy) yet claim he was “mentally retarded” at the time.
Or you could choose to believe this con artist, because it seems you get something out of it.
But surely, we can both agree, that I’m not going to join you in your confusion. Keep reading, hopefully, you will learn something.

Now, this morning, I realized I have a few more things to say.

Marian, you are not the first person to barge in to my life with this kind of inappropriate and disrespectful intrusion. Several years ago, during the lengthy, expensive (ten million plus AMERICAN TAX PAYER dollars) appeal hearing to determine whether your boyfriend is mentally retarded or not, I got a knock on my door in early December. It was unusually cold for an Arizona day, so I looked at the shivering, friendly faced female standing on my doorstep holding an official looking lawyerly business card, asking about our case and invited her in. Surely, she had shown up on my doorstep uninvited and unannounced (just like you did Marian), with some kind of need to talk to me about my involvement in our case, from our side.

Shortly after this woman took a seat in my living room–my living room strewn with boxes of Christmas decorations I had just pulled out in my yearly agonizing set of decisions of whether to decorate for Christmas or not (you do remember Michael Apelt slaughtered my sister in the desert two days before Christmas, I’m sure)–I realized something was amiss. She was talking to me about sympathy for this man who had conned and destroyed the most important person in my life. Sympathy. Right around the anniversary of her murder. Kind of like you Marian. But you decided to confront me like that during another vulnerable time–right at the time the show aired displaying my grief for the world to see. Even to people like you, all the way across the globe. You saw my agony and grief and chose that to be your moment to strike, didn’t you? Just like that woman who showed up in my home. Your strategic timing, like hers, speaks volumes.

Once I figured out her motive–to try and glean my assistance for this ridiculous mental retardation hearing, I kicked her out of my home. Not before she was reduced to tears though. Maybe she had a brief moment of clarity when she saw a true victim.

Now Marian, unlike you, she was not questioning his guilt. She realized that he did commit the murder. That he did take my sister Cindy out to the desert that cold, dark night with promises of a new home “surprise” he was showing her. Instead, his brother laid in wait with a knife. That woman knew he did it, unlike you. But she thought he might be “mentally retarded”, so should be given leniency.

Let me ask you this. You think Michael Apelt has been treated poorly in our system. What do you think of the millions of dollars in legal assistance he has received at American taxpayer expense? Let me say it again: MILLIONS OF AMERICAN DOLLARS to defend him. I’m not talking about housing and food and medical care — I’m strictly talking about defense. Do you find that unfair?

Now, let me do a small amount of education for you about the man you seem so interested in believing, in terms of his “belief” in his own innocence.

Maybe you’d like to do some more digging in to his past and his lengthy rap sheet from Germany. The one that includes burglary, theft, insurance fraud, and prostitution. There is more but you get the drift. Let’s not forget, he was 25 when he slaughtered my sister in the desert, so his German crimes were committed from his teens to his early 20’s.

Do you know that, oh, about 7 other women came forward who he was conning and stealing from at the same time he married and was plotting to murder my sister? He stole money and checks from their purses and in one scheme, convinced one of them that he was dead so his brother could get money from her for his funeral. Yeah, he even sent a telegram to his brother, from the grave. I think they got a couple thousand from that lady. Then there were the Rolex dealers, all of the luxury car dealers in Phoenix and a custom home builder who came to court telling tales of these tall German brothers who had convinced them they were anything from professional athletes to pilots. Everyone believed them, they were that good. They were pre-spending the life insurance on Cindy, while she was alive and making the money they were stealing.

Then, finally, you might be interested in the copycat murder plot Michael Apelt cooked up in the jail before he was convicted. Yeah, that other inmate brought notes Michael had made, including maps, detailing how he should murder his own wife and make it look identical to how he had killed my sister, so it could throw off the trial thinking there was a copycat serial killer out there. I’ve seen those notes he wrote. He wanted another woman to be viciously taken from her loved ones to help free him–he promised his brother in another note I’ve seen that they would be out of jail soon because of his plot. He still thought he would be receiving that $400K of life insurance from Cindy and would pay this man from that.

Those are just a very few details that will be covered in the book I”m writing. You see, unlike you, I’ve read every single word about our case from police reports (including old ones from Germany), interviews (including with your boyfriend), testimony (including Michael’s which I sat through) and autopsy reports. I have all of the information which I will be sharing, including my sister’s own diary so you can understand better how she was conned by this man you so want to champion.

So, thank you for allowing me to educate people further on the aftermath of the death penalty for families. There are people, like you, laying in wait to torture us with your own twisted agendas, even nearly 30 years after the fact. 

I will end with a few pictures of my sister for you. The one your penpal stepped on the face of while his brother cut her throat. This is who she was in life. She was my everything, and the only victim here. Don’t get it twisted.

13 thoughts on “Dear Marian

  1. CYNDI

    Amen! Cindy was a living breathing person who was THE victim! He’s a sociopath with no soul! #wakeupMarian

    So any date for when we get to read your book? #cantwait

  2. Hi Our dear Kathy,

    At the risk of redundancy I won’t re-post my last note in your comments under ‘MARIAN’. I wouldn’t get it to you a second time word for word.

    I am now ‘FueledFossil’ and I explained why in my last post to you this morning. Of course I didn’t change my name until after I posted my comment under my old name ‘SoulSad’.

    Please continue to be blessed my dear friend.
    You are so very loved.♥!


      • fuelledfossil

        Oh but I am so sorry Our Kathy!
        My change over didn’t save the ‘SoulSad’ note so I will do my best to rewrite it. It will be a bit later because I’m waiting on wordpress to answer a question about my email still saying fuelledfossil@soulsad. It should’t say soulsad anywhere.

        I’ll get it all together eventually.♥ ♥ ♥

  3. Kim Bartlett

    Wow, Kathy..just Wow..after I read what this Marion wrote I was so angry I had to throw my phone down and step away. You are so articulate. I am not so much..i guess I shouldn’t be shocked that the Monster is still at work but the gall of this person is absolutely disgusting!!! Thank you for being so Brave to share your story and I hope you will share this type of abuse you have experienced because I am afraid it is not unique. I believe others who have experienced such devastation in there lives will find strength and hope from your voice. I am so glad you have support with your husband and family. May Grace continue to surround and guide you.

  4. Monica S

    I sit here shivering with anger and disbelief after reading this woman’s post. The part that strikes me is that she wrote, “I don’t know if he did the crime or not.” Then, she goes on to say that even if he was guilty 25 years in solitary confinement is enough punishment?! How is that Cindy didn’t deserve to live but he does? I have a soft heart, but some things don’t deserve to be forgiven.

    I have just watched the program. My dismay and confusion for this woman cannot be described, but I am so happy that you found the words and the courage, Kathy. Love to you always!

  5. Maria MeySa

    Dear Kathy,
    I just learned about your sister’s case yesterday through the TV show. It got to my heart. I live in Southmerica and eventhough I am so far away and we do not know each other, I’d like to send you my condolences for your loss and tell you I admire how brave you have been all these years. Cindy must be so proud of you! I am so sorry you had to read Marion’s words… she is lost and I really feel sorry for her.
    Keep honoring your sister the way it feels right for you. I really hope you are happy and have peace in your heart based on Cindy’s happy memories.
    Best wishes,

    • Dear Kathy,

      Sometimes it seems like the pain and disrespect will never end.
      It does and it will.
      In the meantime may you be wrapped in my biggest cyber-hug (HUG) sent along with Love ♥ ♥ ♥

  6. Marie

    I just have heard of your story and it touched me deeply. Your deep love for your beautiful sister, and your grief over her loss was palpable and heartbreaking.
    Unfortunately there are many “Marions” in the world. Women who are so lacking in self-worth that they choose to associate with the lowest forms of human scum to walk the earth. I’m so sorry that she has the absolute gall and nerve to suggest to you the way “she” feels you should be handling things.
    May your many wonderful and beautiful memories of your lovely sister sustain you until you meet again in heaven.
    Respectfully, Marie

  7. Kat


    I too was shocked and disturbed by Marion’s words. I have live in Gold Canyon for 20 years and never heard about your sister’s tragic and senseless death. May one day you meet again and catch up on all your lost time. 😞


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