Open Letter to the Jodi Arias Jurors–Second Panel



To the 11 jurors (and the alternates) who followed the law and deliberated and saw this case for what it really is:  a first degree calculated homicide with deliberate intent to take an unarmed man’s life, cover it up, lie about every aspect about it for years then hijack the legal system by blaming him for his own slaughter,  I say thank you for seeing Jodi Arias as she truly is–a vicious “psychopath” as one of you called her.

First of all I want to make this very important point.  You all have PTSD right now.  Not just from the horror you had to endure in that courtroom and images you were forced to be exposed to again and again but from the trauma of having to deal with the heinous deliberations you did.  I have no doubt that every single one of you is suffering from PTSD and you would have even if the jury had been unanimous.  This isn’t your fault nor is it a sign of weakness.  It is a very natural result of having to sit in stunned silence for the months that you did while this Psychopath hijacked your lives while being traumatized like that.  It is very important that you understand the symptoms of this and, if needed, get treatment.  At the very least, keep talking to the people on the jury you bonded with as processing it verbally is one way to release the trauma from the nervous system.  I am an expert in PTSD both personally and professionally and any of you may contact me for more resources if you feel you need them.  Helping you is something I would feel a great sense of satisfaction participating in.


Let me introduce myself a bit.  My sister Cindy, pictured on the left, was murdered here in AZ by two men who took her life for money.  She was 30 years old just like Travis.  She was murdered in an almost identical way as Travis–stabbed numerous times, nearly decapitated and her body left to be found by others.  She also lived in Mesa.  Her killers were, like Jodi, found guilty of first degree murder and sentenced to death. That was 24 years ago and they are both still alive and in the system.  The Death penalty is not for sissies when it comes to the aftermath and the burden/abuse it places on families.  I’ve said many times that the death penalty opponents who have championed for the men who left my sister’s slaughtered body in the desert on Christmas Eve 1988 have been the most abusive to me personally as well as my family members.  Unlike the Alexanders we had it pretty easy, comparatively, during Cindy’s killers’ original trials.


There is a whole lot on the internet about our trials but I’m not going to ask you to read it because the last thing you need to be exposed to right now is more murder.  I only give that introduction so you know I have credibility with what I am saying to you.


You all made a valiant effort in that jury room and I, as a surviving sister of homicide, applaud each and every one of you.  The outcome had nothing to do with any of you not doing your job or trying hard enough.  It clearly had to do with an errant juror with an agenda and so much damage herself that it created a wall, a wall she now has to live behind for the rest of her life.  I would not want to walk in her shoes.


I know you feel like you’ve let down the Alexanders.  That is a normal feeling.  Yet I believe that they know and have compassion for the impossible situation you were in. All of your brave words in the interview I’m sure have been  healing for them.  Keep speaking about it in any way that you can.  The validation you’ve given over the TRUTH of this case is, in itself, a healing balm.  The fact that you saw this horrific nightmare as it truly is, is a medicine only you can give and I’d say keep giving it.  It is healing for all of us who watched the trial in the ways of feeling like she truly didn’t “beat the system”.


Now what I’m going to say may be somewhat controversial but it is my belief and I hope it helps you.  I’ve been ambivalent about this phase all along.  For only one reason:  I know what the aftermath of the Death Penalty is on families.  Yet I’ve been supportive of Jodi receiving it because she deserves it.  Under the law, which you followed, it represents the appropriate sentence for her crime:  the worst of the worst.  I attended nearly every day of the first phase of the trial so saw every day of her 19 day testimony in person and I will tell you she is the scariest killer I’ve ever witnessed, including both men who killed my sister.


I have many reasons for that assessment but it’s not my aim today — my agenda is to help you heal and get perspective on this.  Jodi’s going to prison for life (she will never get out, don’t worry about that–it will not happen) will bring long term relief to the Alexanders.  Not in this moment understandably but in the long term they will truly much more easily be able to detach from her.


17 years after my sister’s killers were sentenced to death, we went back to court for a lengthy hearing to determine if they were “mentally retarded” thus ineligible for the Death Penalty. How convenient that once the Supreme Court issued a ruling that we can’t execute the mentally retarded, these highly sophisticated manipulative sociopaths became “mentally retarded” overnight.

They conducted an extensive and sophisticated conspiracy to murder my sister for money and cover it up, yet were granted this relief in the system.  Without burdening you with the extensive trauma this inflicted on me and my family I will just let you know that one of them was released from Death Row as a result of that hearing.  The one who had served 5 years prior for a violent rape and the one who slit Cindy’s throat was granted reprieve and now lives, like Jodi, in AZ State Prison general population.


The other killer, his brother, remains on death row.  I continue to receive notices on that one several times a year.  He continues to fight for appeals after appeals and we may be dragged back in to court again.  He will likely never be executed nor would Jodi.  He alone on death row has drained taxpayer dollars in the tens of millions simply in legal fees for people fighting to get him reprieve.  This stopped completely with his brother who is now a lifer like Jodi Arias.  Just some perspective.

I am not against execution, I just know how the system operates.  I am a very strong person but have had to navigate these waters since I was 29 years old.  I am now 55 and still navigating them.  To say it hasn’t had an impact on me would be lying.


You can draw your own conclusions about what I am saying and it’s not political, it’s practical.  You will come to make peace with this outcome in your own ways and I am out here sending you love and support through the air waves.  If any of you ever would want to talk to me, I am open to doing so and know how to keep confidentiality (I used to be a Psychiatric Nurse so it’s in my DNA).

None of you, not one of you, did anything wrong.  Please know this.  Keep breathing deep…this will pass.


Now on to Juror 17 I have some things to say.

There are many things floating around the internet right now about you but for now, the only ones that I want to address are comments your fellow jurors have made about you.

You managed to position yourself right next to Jodi Arias, at this moment, in solidarity.  Jodi Arias who is considered “the most hated woman in America”.


This is an interesting choice for someone who, it appears, has suffered abuse herself.  You chose this position not for a “stand” you selected after a considered opinion but more for a stubborn refusal to consider the facts of this case.

This was one simple decision:  did the mitigating factors outweigh the aggravating factors in this murder?

Let me make it even more simple for you.

Did Jodi Arias’ age, mental status, claims of childhood “abuse” etc. outweigh 29 stab wounds, a near decapitation and a gunshot to the face.  Deliberate, planned, premeditated and covered up at length.

You chose to cling to your own personal belief system instead of looking at the cold hard facts and consider the one obvious “yes or no” in this simple equation.  You chose, for whatever personal history reasons you had/have to believe the character assassinations on the victim in this case Travis Alexander.


Let’s be clear on this one fact.  The only, absolutely only reports of Travis Alexander being an abusive man to Jodi Arias in the ways she described, came from her. A known and admitted pathological liar with a serious agenda to save herself. I’m talking about the “rape” incident, the “pedophilia” incident, the “body slamming” incidents.


I agree, he may have not had good boundaries with her and you might even call him a “player”. Ok, I’ll give you that. No one has life skills to deal with a sociopath, even if you already have had to, like me.

Does this equate abuse severe enough to nearly chop off his head deliberately, with a considered plan and execution?  Is this what you think an appropriate “punishment” is for stringing a woman along and, being generous, playing “mind games” with her (although I think the mind games were from Jodi to Travis personally).

Who were you really trying to protect here?  Yourself?  Your abusers?  Your wall of denial?

What you succeeded, yes you, single handedly succeeded at, was creating a triumph for abusers everywhere.  This trial and your participation in it specifically, sent a message that defense attorneys can malign a victim, a dead person (who could also be a woman or child by the way), straight from the unsubstantiated mouth of their perpetrator and find at least one person to buy that story thus excusing their crime.  That person was you.


Now defenders of child molesters like Kirk Nurmi, because of you, will feel more confident in blaming those victims openly in court claiming their child victims asked for it, wanted it, deserved it.  You and your stubborn wall of whatever kicked that door wide open in this high profile trial.  Defense attorneys will be in search of a “you” on a jury feeling more empowered to use this “attack the victim” strategy to garner a win.  They might even study your personality like a bug to understand your unique weakness they can exploit, like happened in this trial.


These are the things you have to live with now for the rest of your life. You name is linked forever with a vicious first degree murderer who planned to have sex with her victim, get him defenseless in a shower where he was as vulnerable as a person can be then attack him with a knife when he was truly trapped.  That could have been a woman in that shower.  Would your blindness have been the same?


This is your life legacy now and it will never leave you.  That is the price you paid for indulging this pain based stubbornness you cling to.  Your future will be your reward for this very ill advised decision and you will be reminded of this every day of your life even if you wake up to reality one day.  This makes your life much like Jodi Arias’, imprisoned, although I suspect you have a conscience unlike the murderer which will make your suffering far greater than hers will ever be.  And, like Arias, there will be no pardon.  This is your life now.  I feel sorry for you.  I don’t think it’s what you intended but it’s what you created.

cracks on earth

Having written these words and released them, I won’t give you any more energy but I did have to say them.


I am more interested now in placing my efforts on changes to disallow people like Kirk Nurmi, Jodi Arias, Jennifer Willmott, Maria De La Rosa and certain members of the media who supported them to further malign and abuse victims using the court system.  It’s beyond the levels of human decency and We the People fund it.  Can you imagine a court system which tries to blame a toddler for being raped?  This is one small step away from that world. And I for one, am ready to see it change before it escalates further.  This abuse of victims should pivot with this trial and I will keep speaking out about that as a taxpayer until someone hears me who matters.


To those reading out there who are also suffering from PTSD who followed this case, exacerbated by this unfathomable non-verdict, because I know there are many of you/us, I say this:  please know this is real.  Please don’t deny your feelings or think you can just go back to normal.  This was a collective shock felt round the world and you are not alone.  There is help.  I know this first hand.


This felt like Evil triumphed over Good but I believe that never really sticks.  That’s just my belief system and although this trial, like for many of you out there, rocked me to the core, I have a really great life.  A life filled with healing and love and joy and laughter and fun that is untainted by the tragedy that has befallen my family and continues to invade.  There is the largest part of me that has never been touched.


Healing is always possible.

In closing I will share the words that sifted down in to my mind on the last day of our trials:  “they may have taken her life but they’re not getting mine.”  Please take them and use them for yourself.

If any of you out there need resources please contact me at and I can hopefully direct you.

Thanks for taking the time to read.  May peace wash over the Alexanders and all of Travis’ loved ones today and in the coming days/weeks/months.


121 thoughts on “Open Letter to the Jodi Arias Jurors–Second Panel

    • This story mesmerized me…how unfair life can be, how juror #17 can live with herself is beyond me…You told the story as it should be told..Thank you…my thought is:- She got paid to vote the way she did!

  1. Jennifer Baker

    Sending peace your way Kathy, from another tough cookie who refuses to get burned. Love you lots, you are an inspiration!

  2. Right on, KCL! Even through your own experiences, you can reach out to others with courage, wisdom, and goals. Thank you for speaking for all of us, words we cannot express nearly as well.


  3. Ellen Noerenberg

    Hi KatieCoolLady (love that your sister gave you that name),
    I have been following you since the 1st trial of CMJA and always appreciate your perspective. I think this may have been your best post. Let the healing begin for the Alexander’s, the Juror’s that followed the rules and worked for Justice, and all of the followers of this case that truly wanted Justice for Travis. I too believe that LWOP is probably the best outcome, for it affords the most peace in the long run, although if anyone deserves to actually pay for a crime with their life, it is surely this murderer. Thanks for all of your insights, I am happy that you have found your true love, and I wish you success with your book, I think it will touch and help others, I will buy it! EllenNo (from Websleuths)

  4. Cyndy

    I know there are thousands of us that prayed for the right outcome in this case….we prayed really hard…….but instead we got the verdict God wanted…..He wanted the Alexander family to go home and not have to hear about her ever again…….He wanted juror 17 to be the catalyst to an investigation into the defense team, the judge, the jodi is innocent site….these matters are being taken very seriously by the various government agencies. I can’t wait to see just how far down “slime highway” this group of people have gone.
    Wonderful letter, Kathy…..

  5. Judy Martin

    I’ve never read such a Heartfelt and thought provoking and tear jerking article.
    I’m so very sorry for your sister. She was a Beautiful Lady. I simply just cannot comprehend the Evilness that lies in the heartless flesh of some while such goodness rules the life of others.
    The Good Die Young, we don’t understand how it works but it seems the grand design of something larger than us.
    Thank you again for such a wonderful article where there is only Truth and Humanity.

  6. Kathy you are a true inspiration to all, God bless you for all your kind words and I am so very sorry for your loss. You are an incredible Women! Thank you again for Sharing! Hugs to you !!

  7. Family of Law

    Superb, truly captured the essence of what all endured. Thank you KatieCoolLady! I truly hope the jurors, and Alexander’s read these wise words.

  8. Joyce

    Heart breakingly beautiful, love and prayers going out to all of you who need love and healing (me included). Written with such love and kindness.

  9. Laurie Hanson

    Beautifully said! I am sorry for the loss of your sister! I appreciate this letter to the jurors, filled with love, warmth and your personal understanding of how this affects them! God Bless You! As for juror #17, her life has forever changed! Thank you Jurors. Justice for Travis has been served! Travis’s legacy will move forward through all of us! Peace and healing prayers for the Alexander family, the 11 plus alternate jurors, friends and supporters of Travis! Prayers for you Kathy! ❤

  10. mnor

    Very, very nice letter. Thank you for sharing your keen insight and experiences. I hope those you have addressed, will take your advice to heart.

    Wish I was a resident of Arizona so that I could help you bring about the changes that are sorely needed. The path that Kirk Nurmi, Jodi Arias, Jennifer Willmott, Maria De La Rosa and a few misguided followers have taken, is a very dark road.

    The focus of a trial should be on the perpetrator of the crime, not the victim. Anyone trashing a victim with lies and innuendo, should be held accountable. How this was allowed in this trial is part of my outrage, as I’m sure it is for many others.

  11. Barbara Green

    This advertisement of Kirk Nurmi’s legal representation is chilling to me……….………I just hope that eventually some laws can be passed so that the victims won’t be held responsible and trashed like Travis was and told it is the victim’s fault it happened, even if it is a child victim……..

  12. Kristen Barsness

    Thank you 4 the beautiful letter, n wonderful words of wisdom. We all knowthis whole trial was messed up by the judge n letting this juror even be allowed 2 be on this jury. Total conflict of interest, the agenda was there from day 1 of this penalty phase n the defense team knew she’s never get the death penalty, pretty sad 2 think this is what it came 2. Hope they all can live with themselves n r proud

  13. Susie

    How beautifully put. Coming from someone who has every right to put things into perspective for us had me in a trance reading and making me realize how that juror has really and truly derailed her own life into a downward slop as the murderer she let go. Now that I read this, I realized what she done was not just wrong for Travis, but will wrong her in so many ways. It is just truly unreal for 11 people to vote for death because I the enormous weight of the evidence and the other doesn’t want to see the forest through the trees. Her own agenda will haunt her for the rest of her life and you have made me realize it.

  14. God Bless you, what a loving, warm and compassionate post. It is people like you who renew our faith in God and in humanity when such evilness tries to rob us of everything near and dear to us. Thank you for your time and effort. Also, any jury members reading this, she speaks for all of us, you did your job, somebody else didn’t do theirs. Hold your head high! and don’t let the beast steal another moment of your precious life.

  15. Cindy Marvel

    Your letter was so beautiful but so very true I myself suffer from p.t.s.d have since I was a child from being molested as a child. It also angers me lawyers like Jodie s will be able to blame the innocent child victims. God bless all 11 jurors and the Alexander family.

  16. Beautiful. I pray for peace and comfort to you and your family, to the Alexander family and all the other families out there that have faced such senseless crimes. Thank you for sharing and keep on trying to change the laws that allow the victims to be on trial and dragged through the mud. I wish you much success and happiness.

  17. Kathy, Your blog is truly inspiring and I am certain will help the jurors who took their oath seriously. I would add the two alternates who spoke yesterday, and the one who was dismissed after her mother passed away, to the list as well. Bless you for your message…and Blessings to the Alexander family as they face each new day.

  18. Beautiful! No more words to say, thank you KatieCoolady! Your light fills the world, keep smiling ……you are beautiful inside and out and spreading the light in all the dark places! Exactly what this world needs!

  19. m afraid

    life in prison is no picnic, it also takes away any appeals that would have been automatic in a death penalty verdict.a death penalty phase would have allowed jodi arias much more freedoms then she will receive today. Not to mention the additional expense to the taxpayers of arizona. . I don;t think either party in this case are innocent, Nor do i believe either party got what they deserved. I think it is a case of two people who let desires overtake their good common sense. it spun out of control. I know the murder was gruesome and sad….the loss of anyone especially young ones with a future is so sad but the reality however any way travis’s family lost him would be tragic. It doesn’t always have to be one person fault more than another, its a situation that shouldn’t have happened but did. It to me was like the perfect storm, the one thing that stands out in my mind and I didn’t hear any testimony rebutting it was the fact that travis pursued her heavily. at the beginning when she was living with someone else , holding down multiple jobs and a relationship and owned her home. I have to believe their was something more promised more there between the two of them that we do not know or understand. Life in prison is the appropriate sentence, She like
    many women and men involved in these type of heavily invested but deceitful relationships the ending is always tragic. I feel sorry for both families the selfishness of both parties involved. in this case both of them would have pursued it. (as the evidence shows) even though others close to them would have advised against. Not being orthodox in any religious beliefs I do believe these two took risks on each other that most teachings would advise against. If this was a murder amongst strangers I would agree with 1st degree murder but since this was a murder amongst two consenting adults I would say it is a crime of passion in which both parties have some responsibility. No one knows for sure what really happened in those last hours but the two of them. Being a victim by circumstance , circumstance that is different with the same outcome( sudden loss of a sibling) 30 years ago all i can say is I am truly sorry for your pain…..but i know for a fact no sentence either way will ever fill the loss you feel in your heart,. Jodi’s family has lost too. Jodi wasn’t in this deal alone.and she didn’t sneak up and murder him either. the pictures prove that. I:m sorry the families have any of this pain and It’s always the ones left behind carrying the weight of others choices. Love your loved ones here and gone, give forgiveness where ever you can. and move on. Make a happy life for you and your love ones and remember when the ones that are dear and gone will always live on in your hearts…..They are never really gone. Being mad and trying to point total blame on anyone else i this circumstance is harmful to yourself. No one is perfect and no one knows how they are going to react in certain circumstances. The mere fact that families of people who commit suicide
    didn’t see it or didn’t see it coming confirms the fact that we never really know what is going on in saying on in other peoples mind or their relationships. I’m not saying anything that happened ie right but in these circumstances any thing could that’s the sad truth of it.

    I would like to write about the many civil rights of witnesses and jurors that have been violated in this case. we as american citizens are afforded the right of a defense. the actions of people who made it look like this defendant was not worthy of a defense or the right to a fair trial. i am embarrassed by the actions of my fellow americans trying to remove rights from any individual no matter the circumstances. americans and that includes anyone or their loved ones. Everyone is entitled to a fair trial amongst their peers. no matter how egregious of a action the accused is being tried for. all americans should do their best to insure this basic right. We have the right to attend trials of ones accused of a crime….but i am sure this is to protect our right to a fair trial and as a citizen here we vote on our judges and prosecutors to ensure that every one is abiding to the rules and allowing a proper defense. i am sure you would expect that if you were ever to be accused of a crime. What happened to Alice Laviolette was a crime against her rights as well as our basic rights. now we have a situation where people do not want to testify for their expertise for fear of public opinion and backlash. I;m afraid this could have detrimental effect on trials in the future. forcing people to negotiate on accusations without having a fair shot in court. what has happened here, has majority of our parents and schools failed to educate a vast majority of people in the rights of the american people. Because what i take away from this trial is that once again winning at any cost supersedes the search for the truth. Come on we are Americans we should know by now you can’t take away anybodys rights without putting yours in jeopardy as well .

    It is up to the jury to follow the laws as put before them, they have taken a oath, one in my opinion they should be proud to take and i also believe they take very seriously. it is our right as the public to oversee not judge before hand and under no circumstances should we try to interfere with anyone getting due process and let our juries represent us. this is our system set up to afford us all innocence before being proved guilty.

    Just my humble opinion.

    American Girl

    • I don’t have time to respond to all the comments here but I will make one response to your as you came to my house to make it. I will be completely clear here American Girl: ONE person WAS innocent and his name was Travis Alexander. He committed no crime and in no way deserved to be slaughtered, naked, in his own home. This was not a crime of passion. It was a carefully calculated, well thought out and executed then covered up, premeditated homicide. There is nothing to suggest anything else. Yes, dysfunctional relationships often end in heartache. But they rarely end with 29 stab wounds, a slit throat and a shot to the face. Preplanned.
      Alyce Laviolette’s “rights” were not violated in even a shred. She instead violated the rights of the victim’s family in this trial by asking for an early bathroom break to only accost Travis’ sister to her face, which is actually against the Victims Bill of Rights. She did this right in front of my face. She claimed to have been “stalked” which was nothing more than her walking in to a crowded restaurant w/ the defense team, speaking openly about the case and having a fellow diner snap her photo and tweet it. Then she waltzed in to the most media friendly hotel in town while claiming she was being “harassed”. She signed up for this, lied on the stand, disrespected her own profession by testifying lies of a murderer as some kind of reliable truth and she will receive the consequence of that action driven by dollars, that is natural. What was she thinking? No one in this case, especially Jodi Arias who has hijacked this system for six years, was denied “due process”. She in fact got far and above what most criminals get, at my taxpayer dollar$.
      I’m not going to debate this with you because I’m not sharing my opinion, humble or otherwise, but the facts. But I will set them straight. Thanks for reading.

      • m afraid

        dear kathy, i didn’t realize that i was coming to your house.
        but with that said. I don state I didn’t believe what happened in this case was right. I am simply stating I don’t believe Travis was completely innocent. Did you hear the tape? Nor did I see any evidence from jodis past that showed she could be capable of such an act.Just a very bad situation that escalated to out of control. I wasn’t even really commenting on your letter point for point just sharing my opinion on how I saw everyone reacting to a
        case that didn’t have anything to do with our families and the fact I believe in our system and the right to have a fair atrial no matter what the case. thats it . My heart goes out to both families as well as all people involved in this trial . Sad Sad situation but again The american public and Media should still afford the person aright to be innocent until proven guilty and have a fair trial. thats it. we should not be threatening witnesses or interfering with the process ok. again if this is your blog im sorry for throwing my opinion out there. Have a nice day
        american girl

      • another jodi. I didn’t know I was coming to your house…… BUT that being said. You know what, whoever you are, I don’t think that this Kool Lady gives a shit about your excuses for why. IT WAS UNCOOL. But hey you see ting the way jodi does obviously since you don’t even acknowledge that what you did was way over the line. You don’t show up on someones doorstep that doesn’t you and try to set the record straight. Not then and not here on the blog, Personally I m going to ask you to seek help because I do have BPD and apparently you have at least a few of the socially inept symptoms. The one you should check for, is the rage that a BPD can explode into if they are damaged enough by the trauma. Like me, I’ve attacked guys when I was younger coming unglued to what I can only describe as the tasmanian devil. I was even making animal sounds of rage deep growling, it was scary. Until I GOT HELP to understand why. I was traumatized, duh. anyway my dear jodi is more than capable to do carry out this murder the way she did, we know that because we know she did it. Theres no question of if she did or could have, SHE DID! Not only that, but she premeditated, shooting him, stabbing him, and leaving him for dead. She stole grandpas gun undeniably so you can figure the planning started then.
        I wonder what movies she was renting at the time. hmmm
        Anyway do speak to the group that support jodi, you’ll be far more liked there.


    • mnor

      American Girl, obviously you failed to truly understand Kathy’s letter. I recommend that you reread it and make sure you truly and fully duplicate what she is saying.

      From your statements in your comments, it appears you have not followed any of the testimony or physical evidence presented in the case. Or worst, you are among the few that fail to see Jodi Arias as Kathy has stated, “she truly is-a vicious “psychopath”, and you have fallen for the many, many lies this killer has spoken.

      Don’t tell us about Jodi’s or her defense’s “rights” to assassinate Travis’s character with lies and innuendo. Travis had his share of faults, but did nothing to warrant 27 stab wounds, having his head nearly cut off, and a gunshot to the face.

      If you think it is a right for an “expert” to be in a trial to destroy the victim of this crime, based on nothing but their own biases and the defenses agenda, you surely know nothing about America. And yes, there is nothing American about a killer testifying in secret during her trial.

      If you support the killer and the way that the defense acted in court, you might as well change your name to Russian Girl or worse….. Jodi’s Girl.

      • spellbound4

        American Girl, you certainly picked the wrong day and place to post what felt like a lecture to me. Unless you have been a victim of a horrific murder, you may not realized the depth of our connection to this case. We are here to SUPPORT the ALexander family and one another. Which brings a sense of empathy and comfort.

        We wish no discord. Differences can be shared in the proper forum, which is not here, and not today.

  20. Janet

    Having followed this trial from day one, I too am sickened by the “verdict”. I was aware of your loss and always appreciated your occasional tweets that provided such heartfelt emotion, insight and search for justice. I would moan out loud and fight back tears upon hearing the trash the defense team chose to spew about Travis. I never knew Cindy nor Travis, but one cannot help but feel connected to decent, loving people. People that deserved so much more than their tragic endings.
    You are a very strong, brave woman Kathy, and I admire you. Your 2009 victim impact statement and the resulting ruling was truly amazing. Why can’t it always turn out favorable for the victim? A disgrace to our justice system. I am truly sorry for your loss.
    I am so hoping that the jury and the Alexander’s will read your letter. I so believe it will give them some much needed comfort. It has for me in an esoteric way. Thank you.
    I will keep you and the Alexander family in my prayers….

  21. Tanya

    Well said, Kathy! I was stunned at the outcome this week, but I do believe, in the long run, it will end up being for the best, for the reasons you’ve stated here and elsewhere on your website. Watching the heart-wrenching victim impact statements that were released shortly after the mistrial was declared really underscored the very serious need that Travis’ family has for healing. I hope they will find solace in the commentary of the 11 jurors who did deliberate and worked so diligently to render a just verdict, as well as from the alternates who indicated they, too, favored a death sentence for Travis’ murderer. I hope the family also knows that there are so many of us who empathize with them for what they’ve been through and care deeply for their well-being. I also hope the jurors understand how much we all appreciate their hard work and sacrifice, acknowledging the emotional toll it’s taken on them. I will keep them all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, as well as your strength through your horrible ordeal, and I wish you well!

  22. Roger parisee

    Kathy I am so touched by UR compassion in life for people! I humbly say to you, “IF THERE ARE ANGELS ON EARTH” YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!! GOD BLESS!!

  23. Mari1003

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. This was an inspirational letter and I hope we all refer to it whenever we need that extra push…..I am saddened by the fact that the trial was such a mockery to our Justice System….not only in AZ, but the United States in whole. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers – it must’ve been so hard for you (and your family) over the years – just like what the Alexander’s had to endure but I wish you all peace and happiness always.

  24. Seasidepch

    Beautifully Said. I also believe that in the long run the Alexander family will heal quicker if this witch finally goes away. You have a wonderful gift.

  25. Lois Ann Gordon

    Thank you for taking the time to write this. Once I started, I couldn’t quit. Peace for you and the Alexander family. I mean this from my heart.

  26. Thank you so much for this letter. My heart breaks for the Alexander Family as well as for you and yours. I agree that LWOP is good as long as that is what JSS gives CMJA. I can’t imagine her doing anything else but then again there are a lot of things that have happened in this trial that had me baffled.
    I know there are a lot of rumors out there about the underhanded backroom dealings that may have occurred with Juror #17, her connection to Juan Martinez is something that should have kept her off the Jury but she did not volunteer that information.
    I’m trying to keep a positive outlook on this trial and yes, I do believe a lot of us who connected with this trial may be suffering from PTSD right now. I have my own personal reasons for wanting this trial to have the outcome the Alexanders wanted, somehow the timing of the trial is all mixed up in my mind with the death of my Mother during the trial as she and I spent so much time watching the trial together, even the last day Mom was alive we sat in the hospital room and watched Dr D on the stand. We spent our entire vacation week before she died sitting in the hotel room watching the trial because our hearts went out to Travis and his Family.
    Somehow, I don’t understand why but somehow I feel like my ability to properly grieve my Mom is on hold until CMJA is locked up for life,
    Much love and respect to the 11 Jurors and Alternates who did their job, I feel for them and worry about them almost as much as I worry about the Alexander Family.
    I hope something good can come out of this injustice system, I pray the judge does the right thing on April 13th, although it disturbs me on a personal level because my Mom died on April 19th, another thing that has this trial mixed up in my mind with my grieving process for my Mom.
    My heart goes out to you on what you’ve gone through with your Sister, you are one of the strongest women I’ve ever (not) known ❤
    God Bless the Jurors who did their job, God Bless the Alexander Family, God Bless Juan Martinez and Det. Flores (as well as his Family and recently departed son) and God Bless people like you KCL, your comments here and on Websleuths have sometimes been the only thing that have kept me sane during this mess.
    I Pray for this to be over for real, and if there are criminal charges to come because of the juror with an agenda (allegedly), I Pray the appropriate punishment comes their way.
    If not, they will one day face the ultimate Judge and pay for their sins.
    Until then, as the saying goes, karma is a b*tch and has a way of catching up to people eventually.

    • Joanne, I’m so glad you are sharing about your Mom. That makes perfect sense to me. My grieving of Cindy didn’t even begin to begin until our trials were over. And in some ways the legal system being “never over” with the DP prolongs it even more. It’s far easier to focus on something, as bizarre as it sounds, as a murder trial than the much more painful loss. I get it completely. I think just saying that out loud is healing. Feel free to vent to me anytime as I completely understand. On some level loss is just loss no matter how it happens. Be easy with yourself love.

  27. berkshiregrl

    So beautiful as always. But also so needed. As her victims continue to pile up they need to hear a healing voice.

    You can be such a balm to the family and now to this poor jury. These 11 people who acted in such dedicated good faith never knowing it was all for naught. How could they know some personal vendetta meant there was nothing they could do to secure justice.

    And the jury should know that, ultimately, this outcome may end up being the best for the family. They need to stop being tormented by the convicted murderer. And the best way to ensure her lack of a platform is for her to become just another loser lifer.

    She craved the “luster” that would go with being on death row. The army of lawyers, activists,young impressionable law school volunteers, a whole new cadre to manipulate and use to advance her cause of…herself, keeping herself in the spotlight, having attention given to her.

    But she will be just another prisoner. But likely among a tougher crowd. Perhaps a crowd that will not appreciate her sense of superiority, her need to attract attention. As a convict with no claim to innocence, few on the outside are likely to notice her. She has no great cause to offer anyone.

    The best thing for this world is for her to just fade away. And in some cosmically inexplicable way, this seemingly tragic outcome, may be just the ending we all need.

    A final “Thanks” to the jury. You all do have PTSD and you need to take care of, and be kind to, yourselves. You are an inspiration to the rest of us. You did everything you could. There is no fault in anything you have done.

  28. Rose

    Beautiful. This is of much help as I can’t get over what happened. It was on my mind last night all night..half awake half asleep. Today this is what I first read and it soothed me …but it’s because it’s just so heartbreaking.

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