Shhhhh

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After a day of island exploring and ferry hopping yesterday…

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I think today will be…

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A whole lot of this….

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at a wild Korean day spa I found where they have you soak for an hour and go in to these “earth energy rooms” then scrub the bejeezus out of your skin.  It’s a beautiful cloudy day in Edmonds and a good one to slow down a bit and be quiet.  And read.  And not drive very much.
I’m so glad I took all of this time to stretch out in on this trip.  Expansive time…that’s what I call luxurious.

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first words

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Since the writing conference I’ve been driving and ferrying around Washington and the beginning of my book is coming in. So this is a very very rough draft of, what may be, how it starts. Here goes…

“My sister is missing.”

Choke-whispered words sputtered across the chasm of that empty middle seat like a one winged bird seeking a solid branch. Her seat–the seat she was supposed to have crash landed in, just in the nick of time before takeoff, spilling over with stories of a wild night.

The seat she never took.

The cabin door slammed shut with three aggressive thumps ripping one layer of denial from my under skin, sweeping its remnants in to the long dark vacant tunnel of the jetway.

Nothing makes sense in these kinds of desperate moments. It seemed logical, imperative even, that I offer an explanation to the window seated stranger. Maybe I’d hoped to fill that unbearable void with something…anything. Nature abhors a vacumn they say. So does panic.

“My sister is missing.” as the flight attendants prepared for takeoff like this was some kind of ordinary day.

The cabin air smelled like ice. It held a violent vacancy like compressed white noise.  Everything was moving too fast and too slow at the same time.

Innocence dissolved in saltwater burst through frozen consternation searing my tremoring, blanched and hollow cheeks.

It was 7:26am and Cindy had officially been declared a “missing person” for six hours. I had been up all night. Her half-grinned driver’s license photo was being plastered all over the morning news.

It was Christmas Eve 1988.

For the first time in our twenty nine years of mooring, we’d become untethered.

My sister Cindy was missing.

i survived

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I managed to make it through the night but not without spooky drama.  I left the old historic Rose Theater in old town Port Townsend in search of dinner.  Found a small bistro with the door wide open and freezing inside to match it’s chilly reception.  But they had food.  I got 5 stuffed dates wrapped in prosciutto and a potato torta to go.  I walked out in to the foggy chilly night and down the two desolate and dark blocks toward the Palace Hotel.  I saw exactly not one other person on the dimly lit streets.  As I passed one large tree I heard a very loud scampering sound.  Much too late and large for a bird.  Maybe a roof rat or raccoon I thought as I hurried my step to the vacant lobby of the haunted hotel.
Thank God I’d remembered to pack that small bottle of champagne because I needed it as I hunkered down in the expansive King sized bed only to hear the creak.   A slow motion eerie groan coming from the other side of the large solid wood, locked adjoining room door.

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it begins

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The end the of the writing workshop.  Whew!  Breezed in to the first parking space in front of Girardi’s Oysteria, got a $4 pour and a $5 pork shank with wild mushroom linguini as my head is swimming with words and ideas.  Stay tuned.  I think I’ve got the first words (rough draft) of my book.

winning

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Well my little story didn’t place in the writing contest, yet I still consider myself a winner. I entered that thing among professional writers and journalists and I felt/feel completely proud and confident in my story. I’ll find another contest to enter it in and will see how far it can go before someone just can’t resist. 😉

Having a great time, good workshops today, tons of notes.

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I even played hooky at lunch, sat at a sidewalk cafe listening to jazz and got drunk on the most enormous mimosa I’ve ever seen while missing the Keynote Speaker. Aw hell, he’s a sci-fi writer. What do I care know about Sci Fi anyway? 😉

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Noticing I’m not listening to music or turning on the TV but enjoying the silence of this space and the gorgeous views. My dinner date had to cancel and I couldn’t be happier.

Oh and I found out my cousin, who I knew lived in Seattle, actually lives in Edmonds and THREE BLOCKS FROM WHERE I’M STAYING! So much serendipity around me I can barely stand it.

He’s picking me up for breakfast tomorrow to map out the rest of my time here so we can get together. I haven’t seen him in years but have always adored this cousin.

Ok I have a sunset to watch so catch up with ya later. Or not. 😉

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a halting hello

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last night’s sunset from my room

The moment I stepped off the airplane and on to the escalator I was by greeted by an abrupt full- stop the second my black leather boot hit that metal grated step.
It was as if my 2 inch heel landed directly on a stop button, halting me in my downward moving tracks.
Gaining composure, I reflexively winked back to my beloved Seattle knowing he was just trying to get my attention right outta the gate.

“I get it” I silently nodded not knowing what I was acknowledging yet choosing to engage in solidarity. 
“I trust you” I remembered as I paid better attention to my next steps — more deliberate and definitely more slow.

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today’s lunch

seattle bound (again)

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Sorry I’ve been a bit absent lately.  I’ve been doing this 10 day cleanse which has been kicking my ass challenging and making me kind of go more inside than I usually do.  But I’m glad I did it.  I do believe it is making big changes and will have a profound impact on my health.  It’s just not been an easy one for me. I feel better today, on Day 9 than I have through the entire deal though.

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I had a great last weekend in Sedona–went to a dance class with one of my oldest and dearest friends Wendy in Flagstaff.  Some combination of the cleanse and high altitude had me stepping out frequently to catch my breath.  I could definitely tell my body was going through something.   I travel tomorrow which is Day 10 so I’m not exactly sure right now how I’m gonna handle that.  I may do a kind of half day.

I’m so psyched about heading up to Seattle again tomorrow..yay!  That place has some kind of magical draw for me.  I remember all the wonderful things I did last year and all the great people I met along the way and just smile. I have plans to meet up with at least two of them.  I’m gonna try to hit that Grande Dame again but at NIGHT…spooky!  Pushin the envelope. 😉

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I’ve spent this week doing some planning–got a ticket to a play, made Sat. dinner plans with a friend up there, found this literary theatre company I’m going to do my best to get to, gonna take a road trip up to Whidbey Island going on THREE ferries, landing in Port Townsend where I will spend the night in a haunted hotel that used to be a brothel.  I hope to kayak over there too–the weather claims to be rain free and cool!  Perfect even if it is cloudy. I just love that cloudy mystique up there.

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I’m packing light as I’m staying in an airbnb guest cottage that has it’s own laundry…score!  I want to do most of my Christmas shopping while I’m there as I’ll be in all kinds of cute shopping locales.

Wish me luck on the writing contest I entered–I’ll find out Sat. morning at the conference if I placed.  😉  It would be a little feather in my cap yet I’m glad I just went through the process of entering at all.  I learned a lot about editing my wordy self!

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my room has a view of the Sound

I intend to embrace every single second of this trip in every possible way as it will be one of two of my last solo free-wandering trips before I get “tied down” with my puppy!  Which has me so excited I think about it daily, all day long basically. 😉 I’m so ready for my wonderful life to get even more wonderful with this little addition.

I have so much support and energy around this which is also telling me I’m making a very correct decision–3 friends have offered to throw me a “puppy shower”, FIVE friends (and my Dad) have offered to drive with me to CA to pick him up in Jan. and so many people are just expressing so much excitement for me.  I don’t tend to get this kind of “can I help you?” energy around me as I tend to sort of manage things on my own so this is a very very good sign that my life is changing in a good way.  And I’m soaking it all up!

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Finally, I’m aware that the Jodi Arias sentencing retrial started this week and I won’t be attending this time around.  I feel like I offered a great deal of myself the during the five month main trial, my presence isn’t necessary and where I’m really needed is in my own life–taking care of myself, my own family and trippin the light fantastic living a life that would make my sister happy for me.  I know where I belong and am stepping right in to it.  I wish the Alexanders the very best in getting through this and hopefully this phase will move swiftly and they can start to move on past this lengthy court battle soon.

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Oh and one last thing!  Alfonse has attended two rehearsals now and is doing well I think!  I don’t know if I mentioned that, miraculously, my friend Linda knows the person that is the head of the Baritone section which he will be singing in (meaning his direct leader) and he is a Special Education teacher.  Could it be any more perfect?  Someone who is already sensitive to people with special needs.  I’m still pinching myself that he even got in.  He’s doing well, seeing a Psychiatric Naturopath now who will be another great support person on his team and allows me to step back and relax a bit.  I think it’s been over a year now that he’s been hospitalized which is a big big deal in our world.  So, all is well there.  🙂

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I will probably pop in with some photos from my trip so stay tuned but my writing is gonna be more by hand in my journal.  I want to drop in to the world of experiencing and I guarantee will love every minute of it.

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