i’m changing

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Greetings from Day 4 of my 10 day Sugar Detox!  I woke up feeling really inspired and cheery this morning so want to write about that first and then the sugar detox (with a recipe!) after.

Good morning!

Part of the reason I’m doing this detox is that I’d been waking up in kind of a funk, not energetic or perky mind/emotion wise.  I’m a person who tends to go after things when they are out of balance (eventually) so I saw this detox and thought hey I can do that.

This morning, on waking and feeling better, I got to thinking about change.

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Over the weekend I heard someone tell me things like “this is just the way I am”  “see, I’m doing it again” “I don’t know if I’ll ever be any different” about a pattern that was keeping them exactly stuck in a hamster wheel of misery (for themself and others).  For once I just decided to be quiet and not give any suggestions or unsolicited advice but just to notice that this is the choice that person is making for their life.  At least right now.

The reward of staying stuck like that must outweigh the potential benefit of taking a risk toward changing it would provide.  I see this often in my dear brother around issues he identifies he’d like to be different and he uses the word “try” a lot.  I’ve told him that in my way of thinking that word means the same as “I don’t intend to do anything”.  I’ve also had to learn to redirect my expectations there too and do the only thing any of us can ever really do:   focus on myself.

I’ve found that when I’ve gotten way too invested in changing someone else or their changing themself, I’m avoiding my own development.

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It’s hard to rip off a bandaid sometimes and turn your finger toward yourself.  But it truly is the only way to achieve true happiness.  As I focus on myself I’ve learned a whole lot more acceptance of others exactly where they are.

I may adjust my level of investment in someone who is not invested in themself or choose to spend more time around people who are motivating to me.  Yet at the same time I can accept people more easily exactly where they are.  We all have our own timelines.  This has not historically been an easy thing for me to do.

One thing I was pondering this morning though has to do with reaching out for help.  And not just having an awareness that there is a need for change and not just having a plan.  But fully implementing it, whatever it is.  I guess I lose patience with people at times who complain about their own predicaments while simultaneously sitting there performing the same actions over and over refusing to explore one tiny change.

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I guess I’m still working on that acceptance piece.

One thing I have decidedly stopped doing is asking endless questions like “have you tried….have you considered….?”  with all my oh so helpful suggestions and ideas.  Because I do have good ideas!  Implementing them for myself is where it’s at.  Period. And that’s enough.  Enough exhausting myself while avoiding myself.  Know what I mean?

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The strategy I often employ is going after a stuck pattern with a broad plan of attack.  What I mean is I’ve figured out it takes a village and I don’t have to know the a b c steps of breaking through.  I just have to gravitate toward activities, people, plans that spark a fire in me along the lines of “this changes me”.  Not that this is fun or easy necessarily but that this will change me. For me change = improvement.  A pattern breaks and the life force can slip through and that’s where the real healing manifests.  This has been my philosophy for as long as I can remember.  I was writing about these ideas in my teens.

It’s such a relief to remember I don’t have to have things always figured out all the time.

Some of my sure things that I’ve been employing lately have included Myofascial Release (my profession).  I’ve been retaking classes in Sedona this  year and have more upcoming.  With the focus on working on myself.  It’s working.  Another is that Revelation conference I just went to–that’s always a shot in the heart of Truth and Spirit and I feel like a new person every time I come back from that.  Ready for change.  I’ve also incorporated music back in to my life in a very deliberate way.  Like right now listening to my favorite Watercolors station in the mornings vs. listening to news shows.  And I’m going after myself in a body-way through this detox and getting back to the dance I love so much.

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Finally, I’m always feeling my best when involved in some kind of creative project.  Right now it’s this furniture painting thing — which I expanded in to fabric yesterday for a seat cushion for this chair I’m redoing.  I’m really never more alive than in that fabric store or the Annie Sloan paint store exploring colors and textures and ideas with other obsessives around me like yesterday. 😉 You can really see the sparkle in someone’s eye when that creative force is working intensely through them.  So I think this treasure hunting/painting thing is gonna be my thing now for awhile and since I’ll run out of space at home, I may start selling some pieces.  😉  Stay tuned.

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i couldn’t decide between these two for a seat cushion so bought both 😉

I guess what I’m trying to impart is that if I follow those things that ignite the spark of me and/or things that I know bring me more alive in some way, then the stuck places will naturally start to dissolve and I start feeling more alive just generally.  But I hit it from lots of angles simultaneously–body/mind/spirit, hoping they all influence each other.  I think it’s a good strategy at least for me.

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I think the next time I’m with this person who keeps complaining about how stuck they are I’ll just start asking “what’s bringing you alive right now?”.  That’s actually a conversation worth having.   I thank this morning’s stream of consciousness for handing me that one.  😉

Ok, now on to the 10 day Sugar Detox.

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So far it’s going really well.  It’s easier than I thought and I’m really not craving sugar much at all.  I’m craving comfort food, ya know like a big baked potato or something starchy like that but not really sugar.  They tell you this happens quite quickly with this and I believe them.

It’s astounding how other foods start tasting so much sweeter, like cabbage for example.  I’ve made the same cabbage dish the last two nights–it’s just that good.  It’s good enough to be served in a restaurant good.  I got a humongous head of cabbage from my Bountiful Basket over the weekend so have been working my way through it all week.

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that’s albacore tuna on top–delicious!

Here’s what I do:

I put some coconut oil in the skillet and heat it to about med. heat.  Then I slice of big slices of cabbage and season it with some kind of seasoned salt.  My favorite right now is this one:

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I got it at Trader Joe’s in some kind of kit awhile back.  I think it’s the lemon though that’s doing it in this.

Then I just brown that cabbage and saute it til it’s wilted.  Then, don’t forget this part as it’s the money shot:  I squeeze fresh lemon juice on top.  Trust me, this is DELICIOUS and it tastes sweet and sour at the same time and salty!  Yum.

This morning though I’m experimenting with turkey cutlets making this recipe:

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/paleoista-recipes?page=2

I will probably freeze some but it will be good for salads too I think.

I refuse to put myself on a scale so I’m only going by my clothes and I do feel a small difference there.  But more than anything it’s in my energy level which is very welcome!

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I’m also noticing that, although I’m likely at my heaviest weight ever, I’m going on dates (yes dates) now and I’m not feeling uncomfortable or self conscious.  Hey, I’m 54 right now and dammit I look pretty good even with these extra ahem 30-40 pounds.  But I’m gonna get better.  In the meantime though I’m feeling confident and sparkly and curious about what this world has to offer in terms of a good time.

I’d been stuck in my own lonely patterns for too long so I’m doing something about it and I gotta say, it feels pretty damn good.  In fact, I’m going out tonite.  With my new manicure–dandelions drifting.  I love it.

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lookie here…someone just sent me this as I launched this post–perfect!

Off to dredge turkey cutlets………..have a fantastic Wed. out there everyone!

2 thoughts on “i’m changing

  1. Lilibet

    Congratulations on changing, Kathy. My Mom used to say the same thing to me about “trying.” 🙂

    It’s the jumping in and DOING that brings about change, sometimes quite unexpected change. About four weeks ago, my husband and I started making a lot of conscious changes in our habits, spiritually and physically. We set up a checklist of items we want to work on, and every day when we mark the little squares off, we can see our progress (or where we’re stuck). One of the things on our list is to ditch sweets and any “trigger” foods that we will binge on. We’re back to good, whole food. I’m waking up happy now, instead of depressed.

    Last week, our fourth, we were given an out-of-the-blue opportunity to make a gigantic change in our living situation. If we wanted to do it, we had to jump, and we did! We are moving out of our beautiful, but too big rental into a roomy cottage in a retirement community. The cottage is perfect for us, near everything we enjoy, and has a gorgeous view of the mountains. We will be freed from the daily chores that we are sick of doing, and we can use our energy for things we care about. I’m so excited that even packing is fun! 🙂

    I’m convinced that this opportunity came our way because we were making small, but deliberate, positive changes.

    • That’s so fantastic to read! We are all being called to live a freer more happy existence I believe…and we are answering that call. Yes to LIFE! 😀 Thanks for sharing Lilbet.

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