First off I apologize for unplugging right on a note that I wrote about “depression”. Ugh! That wasn’t a good place to leave off and it’s not a place I’ve been stuck in, at all. In fact the opposite. We’re all doing much better in my family, Alfonse included. He and I have been having some fun times lately since my Dad is on the road, traveling to Sedona, exploring restaurants, hanging out. He’s much better.
I’ve just been super busy. Ran up to Sedona and repeated a course in Myofascial Release and had a life changing experience there. A softening and forgiveness experience that pivoted me right back on a true course. It was amazing.
I’ve had a potential relationship bud then dissolve and then suddenly and inexplicably slip through my fingers before I ever met him in person. It was very cool though because I ran in to this fella online the day before he took a business trip to China and he sent me around 150 photos during the week he was there throughout Asia. It was like going there without having to board a plane for 15 hours. 😉 Or deal with the terrible smog. 😉
Oddly, the day we were to have our first date (last night), he choked and cancelled. No explanation. And he even had a present for me that he’d brought back from China–so weird. Who knows what the deal was there but I land on thinking the hand of my protectors intervened and just said “no, do not even go there”. In doing the post mortem on it last night I realized there were quite a few pink flags and a red one that I was ignoring because I was having fun so…..always learning. Just gotta trust, always.
And of course it’s better to know sooner than later. In retrospect I’m completely relieved I never met him in person.
Although that last minute ditch was shocking and disorienting, I recovered very quickly, for me. It truly was fun while it lasted even in an online kind of way and the canvas is cleared. I don’t feel bad about it today. I certainly am not personalizing it which is also a good shift for me as I tend to take way too many things personally that have nothing to do with me. This pivoted so abruptly from a counting down the hours to our date (literally the day before he sent me the exact hour countdown) and confirming the time/place just hours before to that sudden about face that it’s like the Gods were conspiring to SHOW me I couldn’t find a way to make that about me if I tried (and believe me, I can try). 😉
I’m also proud of the way I responded–honest and classy. I wouldn’t change a thing. And I will not let that one odd apple, spoil it for other men. But I’d also never, in a million years, trust him again or give him another chance. As I’ve said a gazillion times, that initial phase of any relationship is delicate (friendship, love, etc). If trust gets violated during that trust building phase then you will never get it. And that was the case here. Or as my friend Aaron said when I recounted the situation to him for the male POV “ok that’s emotional terrorism”. Next!
I do have a sense that romance is on my horizon soon so I’m pretty psyched about that. I’m feeling more alive in that arena than I have in a very long time. I’m ready for something real. This last deal was some kinda dress rehearsal. I’m ready to step on the stage. I feel it.
I’m embroiled right now in a full blown remodeling of my downstairs. I’m getting all new flooring in several areas and this
nasty cat pee carpet is getting removed next week! Also some old Pergo. And all getting replaced with wood plank style porcelain. Yes! Matching!
I figured since the flooring in these rooms right now is basically a drop cloth, that it’s a good time to paint. So I’ve spent the last few days painting my walls, crown molding and door frames.
That red paint covered with mostly one coat–amazing
Valspar Signature with primer.
Do you know there are hundreds of shades of white? I landed on one I really like. Dove White by Valspar. I had this deep red wall in my dining room forever but was totally sick of it and just decided to go full blown shabby chic in my decor now. Which means white meets white which meets more white. I love it. 🙂
I had to paint over some of my little sayings decals but it’s kinda cool knowing they still exist there as a whisper.
I have a bit more to finish up today, some more things to pack up so furniture can be moved then…it’s rock n roll time!
I love transforming a space. This is the third time I’ve painted this downstairs since I moved in here. Painting is like meditation for me.
So…my entire living room is a disaster zone but my friend Andres is coming over this evening to watch a True Detective marathon. He’s so easy going saying “we just need a couch, access to the TV and a place to set our wine glasses”. It will be fun in this crazy mixed up space.
Even though yesterday I basically got stood up by a man, my hairstylist forgot our appt and also stood me up which looked like a whole lotta bummer zone, I ended up having a great time in spite of all that. Or maybe because of it!
I asked if anyone else was available at the salon and got a GREAT new color and popped over to my fave restaurant FnB while waiting and the owner took pity on me and gifted me a glass of Rose. Ended up spending a great night with friends wine and food crawling and good conversation.
The incredible salad Charleen made for Late Night Love.
All’s well that ends well!
I hope you all out there are enjoying this Springtime (it’s amazing in AZ everywhere).
Thank you all of you who checked in with me about my brief absence. It sure feels good to be cared about in the world! xoxo
And more than anything, I HOPE THEY FIND FLIGHT 370. Just so frustrating and heartbreaking. And if I never hear the term “zombie flight” again, it won’t been soon enough.
Cheers….Happy Sunday y’all!