Woke up this morning with zero pain and zero buyer’s regret. I absolutely love my tattoo and feel like I’m somehow changed because of making this statement to myself.
When the thought downloaded to my brain last Sunday, the statement came with it “you will always have Cindy at your back”.
I think growing up without a mother and losing my one and only consistent protector at age 29 created a hypervigilant exhausted woman at age 54.
Something about this tattoo feels like protection to me. Like she’s just always watching my back so I can rest, finally.
There’s also something about doing this in a location where no one but in very rare circumstances will see it. It’s kind of low between my shoulder blades. And I have no regret about that either. The little bits of discomfort I feel this morning remind me of it’s presence and I feel so comforted.
I can’t wait to show my family today. They had not one moment of ambivalence about this for me.
That’s the thing I’ve found–when I’ve been 100% sure about a decision for myself, I’ve gotten very little flak from others. BIG decisions like graduating from college, getting a great job and new car and deciding to chuck it all and move to Mexico for love. I also got no flak from that either.
I’ve been awakened the last two nights with clear and unexplained sounds. In Sedona, a singular bell chime woke me up twice night before last (nothing in the room to make that sound) and last night a strange human snore woke me up. Nothing I’ve ever heard my cat make.
I think someone’s trying to get my attention.
I think I’ll spend the weekend listening extra hard.
But for now, off in to a fantastic day of fun with family and friends and great wine and food.
What a life…what a LIFE!