First off please feel free to enjoy the soundtrack to this post:
My friend JJ sent me this quote yesterday that was like an arrow straight to the center of all my heart chambers at once.
“The original abandonment, the original abuse, the original horror has some reason and meaning in it. It is not senseless. It is not like being run down like a dog on the highway. Its meaning most often is the development of tremendous strength, tremendous power, tremendous intuition. And I will tell you frankly that most of the people who are the greatest healers living on the face of this earth are unmothered children. One of the great gifts of the unmothered child – and also the healer, and the writer and the musician and all those in the arts who live so close with their ear against the heartbeat of the archetypal unconscious – one of their strongest aspects is intuition.”
And it came with this illustration by an artist named Boris Pelcer:
Not consciously remembering this, I woke up for the second time this morning, this time at 10am (don’tcha love sleeping in when you can?) with this thought in my head.
You can be abandoned and betrayed by every single person in your life who is supposed to keep you safe, at any and every stage of your life and yet you can still find a place of safety and belonging in this world.
If there is a memoir or a book to be written in me, that will be the theme at it’s deepest heart chamber.
I’ve told many stories here and there will be a day where I may tell all of the stories which drive me to that theme.
But these are serious words. They are fighting words. They are surrendering words. They are peace-finding words.
They are the words of a person who knows they will be the last one standing in their lineage.
They are words of a person who has been and will be tested for the duration.
And they are words of a warrior who stands strong and who finds a path unaltered by any of it.
I’m thinking just writing those words out loud helps solidify a path or a direction on a path or the awareness the path even exists.
There is a place inside of me that I feel; most every day I feel it, that has been untouched by any of all that.
It’s like that place inside a dream when you know you’re under full attack, in full danger, free falling, watching the road crash up to meet you and yet knows you will wake up safe.
I have that in me in all of my waking days, in spite of everything else.
And that my friends is my gift, I mean the one I received coming on to this planet in this lifetime.
My friend Amy asked recently “What’s your Superpower?”.
Well, that’s mine.
Ok, that and the skill that I can look at a clock, at any time of day, tell myself that I will wake up at an exact time for example ten minutes later. And I will go in to a deep sleep and wake up at that exact minute fresh as a daisy.
But I got that one from my Grandma Buddha who used to say “I have an alarm clock in my head”. That one’s genetic I think.
This other one came from the place I came from before this. Like a talisman. That’s always been with me and will never leave me.
It’s my spark that peeps through my eyes when I’m not tired.
And it’s untouchable.
What’s your Superpower?
two innocents 
I love this post, Kathy!
Thank you! xo
“What’s your Superpower?”
Substance. Words have, substance.
The word its self, “substance,” imparts something tangible, that which you can touch or, it touches you. But the irony isn’t lost on the phrase; “she is a woman of substance.” And taken from an example on ehow.com about women of substance, one definition is; “consistency, body” and “something that has separate or independent existence.” Also; “a woman of substance would be a woman who has strong character, is consistent, has more to her than meets the eye and has a variety of interests outside and within her home and family. She is interesting to get to know; she possesses a depth of personality and character.”
That is…powerful.
For those with visual acuity, we know it’s impossible, in the literal sense, to touch a word, “words” are intangible. Yet for those who are visually and hearing impaired, they experience “words” by touch using both braille and hand touch sign language. Tangible. Imagine what it ‘feels’ like to be without sight and hearing. Imagine what they ‘feel’ as their hands and fingers move over the words…spelled out. Then imagine how those “words” would make you ‘feel’. Now imagine how we all share the realm of the tangible and intangible experience. (I actually wrote this yesterday when thinking about “words.” And it was in response to one of your blog entries. But I held off…now I know why I had to.)
I’d said to you recently in a conversation, “I don’t know how you do it”…. and just yesterday I was thinking about everything, you know, and the “word” book came to mind, you must write a book. Need I say more about that? You’ve answered it.
I wasn’t being disingenuous when I said that; I don’t know how you do it, I meant it. But here, today, that ‘question’ is a reflection of knowledge in relation to the past…I know how you do it…you’re a woman of substance. And if I had “Superpowers”….if I had to define that within myself, it’s because ‘I feel.’
xoxo
Pilcherje, you are the wordsmith my dear. Are you sure the word “book” came to you about me? 😉 Thank you for your dear friendship and insights. xo
Beautiful. Powerful. I am going to spend the day cleaning, doing loads of laundry, and contemplating my superpower. I’m pretty sure I know it broadly, but I’m going to try to pinpoint it!
Women Who Run With The Wolves.