Good Morning Thanksgiving Eve!

Today my little family heads up to Sedona but not before stopping for a little dinner theatre en route.  There is a pretty fantastic Broadwayish theatre in West Phoenix called AZ Broadway Theatre that not only has fantastic performances but pretty decent food too.  We will be seeing the matinee of The Sound of Music then head right on up the road to Vista Bonita for the holiday weekend.  I’m psyched.  My car is packed like the Grinch as I’m bringing up a ton of Christmas decorations plus my usual get crap out of my house that’s just taking up space and move it up there plus my paleo gingerbread and cranberry sauce I made last night.  Plus of course my own personal stuff.  Needless to say, we are taking two cars.

 

When I woke up this morning and still lying in my cozy bed, I got to thinking about what I might want to write for Thanksgiving.  As I only have an ipad in Sedona I don’t do much blogging because it’s too much finger pecking so I’ll just do my T-giving post here this morning with some soft jazz in the background and a fresh small breeze winding in from the front door.  And my strong hot coffee and warm cozy white blanket of course.

While at the Ranch I attended two classes that had us do a lot of free form writing.  I decided then and there in one of those classes to do this exercise with my family/friends on Thanksgiving Day as a kind of, I don’t know what, a kind of fun way to share.  The instructor would give us one prompt, then instruct us to write for 10 minutes non stop and see what comes through.  It’s kind of astounding what does flow through your brain when you are asked to simply put the pen to the paper and not let it stop moving.

This morning, in a tangential keeping with the first Thanksgiving, I’m going to share my homage to a corn plant that came through.  Then the little collage I made inspired by the writing.  I love this instructor/artist/angel Erin Gafill who inspires creativity in so many ways.  I love her so much in fact, that I’m signing up for her online creativity course in January.  Totally psyched.

So here it is, my ten minute writing about a corn plant.  The beginning words were “I remember…”.

I remember growing that corn stalk in the sixth grade in that cut off milk carton.  I remember sitting it in the window of our class, as a seed, rushing in to see it sprout.  I remember it becoming about six inches tall at the time the school year ended and taking it home, planting it close to the fence in the back yard to the right.

I remember going on that long road trip that year.  AZ, California, Colorado.  Maybe the first with Marj.  In the small camper.  I’d lay in bed at night obsessing about my corn plant.  I’d ask my Dad how tall it would be.  Would there be corn?

I think that particular exercise may have been less than ten minutes but you get the drift.  It’s fun, interesting and a way to get to know yourself and each other in a unique way.

The words I’m going to give us all tomorrow are “When I think about gratitude…”

I think in fact I will do this right now, right here, in this moment.  As a little dress rehearsal for tomorrow, of course knowing completely different thoughts/words/streams will emerge then.

Instead of pen to paper, it will be fingers to keyboard.  I’m setting the timer now for ten minutes and this is what you get.  Wait one minute as I down some caffeine to get my fingers moving (and my brain opening):

When I think about gratitude I’m thinking right now about this moment, this one right here.  I’m thinking about Mark Nepo and his testimonial about surviving cancer and living with that legacy every day and how it informs his life.  I think about Rob and his cancer survival and I wonder, how often does he think about it anymore?  How often does he remember that horrible terrible time we all went through with him.  I’m aware I almost never think of it.  I can’t think of it. I can but I don’t.  I can’t and don’t and don’t want to imagine my life without Rob in it.  I was in denial of his cancer right from the start but that denial was in a strange way a good thing as I just kept knowing he was going to get back to himself and I wasn’t as afraid as maybe I should have been.  I’m so grateful for Rob.  I’m grateful for thinking right now about arriving at his house, later tonite, with some kind of fun cocktail he’s dreamed up or read in a magazine or seen online.  I’m remembering how he said that the only reason he got Men’s Health Magazine was for the monthly cocktail recipes. 

I’m imagining sitting on the cold patio tonite with Rob and Sean and maybe how they will have a fire in the chiminera and the cold stars beaming down at us and the many Thanksgivings we’ve already shared together and how many will come now that my family will be spending all our holidays in Sedona from here on out I think.  I say my family but they are my family.  Those boys have been my family from the moment Rob decided I would be his friend.  I remember feeling so daunted when he shared that he sought me out for friendship when he moved to Sedona.  That he saw me and believe me I was prickly toward him back then–dynamics, strange politics going on and he was a NEWCOMER and interloper of sorts and sometimes I guess I don’t take too kindly to that.  But he saw something in me that he sought out, thank God because he and Sean have been so good to me, rescued me so many times, usually from myself.

We’ve danced in their living room all day once making a music video to “Call me Maybe”.  ALL DAY we worked on that video using an Ipad as our camera.  Then I spliced it for hours not knowing what the hell I was doing and we were so proud as we debuted our music video at Rob’s party. We also danced “the Wattleseed” dance up by the TV which we decided we had to do to earn our ice cream that night that was oddly called “Wattleseed flavor”.  So many memories, so many fun times so many to come. 

I’m grateful that at this stage in life I can still make friends!  I can still invite new people in to my life and bond deeply with him because Lord knows I’ve needed and will need friends along this path.  I’m also grateful for learning more about my introvert nature and finding some kind of balance which I rarely succeed at but keep trying between alone time and social time, both of which I crave probably equally.  Maybe the alone time more.

It’s a blessing to find another introvert too.  Someone, like Sebastian, who just understands that style of living and those needs with whom I can just be myself with no explanations.  It’s tired to always explain some fundamental things sometimes.

Grateful I am for friends, new and old, for the openings that keep inviting them in even unbeknownst to me or unplanned.  These little sparks of light that flow in, flow out, surprising me with their true nature, revealing more of mine.

me with Rob last time in Sedona

And that dingdingding was exactly ten minutes of writing, unedited.

Maybe you’d like to try this for yourself or with your family tomorrow.  I highly recommend it!

And…truly sincerely I’m grateful for all of you out there reading my little thoughts and ramblings and sharing your hearts with me.

I love you all.  Happy Thanksgiving, near and far.

xoxo