it’s beginning


“As a middle child, I’m sandwiched between homicide and schizophrenia” was my answer to the question.

My partner laughed, naturally.

Out loud.

“No really, that’s what I write about” I clarified.

Her face fell, with some flash fire amalgam of emotions impossible to read on their own simply due to the instancy of gravity. In half a second her gaze landed squarely on to mine in that way kind people do when they know an immediate remedy is required.

“I thought you were kidding” she exhaled in a whispered apology typically reserved for this kind of stranger intimacy.

“No, that is my life” I breathed back, feeling once again the unique bond that is formed only by tragedy inviting compassion through it’s longing door.

11 thoughts on “it’s beginning

  1. spellbound4

    Short and simple, yet says so very much. Are some people honestly so blessed that they don’t have anything similar to compare our stories to? Just a musing thought I had…………
    But I will also say, we are blessed despite our pasts and presents, perhaps even in more ways than many can understand, for surely we would not be quite the same person we have become without all that has surrounded us.
    ((( Hugs, KCL )))

  2. Zuri

    I have been experiencing the same for 31 years. For some, it is not enough to let it lie in the simple statement. They want details. They want to know the who, what, when, where and why. Those are details I am not always prepared to supply. Bravo to you for giving those of us who have experienced such tremendous loss a voice. Xoxo

  3. Laura Jackson

    Don’t allow for the discomfort of others to provide an excuse not to be blunt with your honesty. Write what you know.

    • Oh not at all- this interaction started to form the shape of my story. It’s important to tell because of it’s unfathomable nature which I think will be the crux of my writing- thriving within the unfathomable- I thank this response as it helped me start to form my focus.

  4. Shelley

    Well, you are to be commended for writing about it and dealing with it all. Many people deny or try to self-medicate & forget. You are facing everything and sharing with all of us so generously. Bless you . . .we are all learning from you…

  5. Chris

    “As a middle child, I’m sandwiched between homicide and schizophrenia”.
    When I read that first line, I have to admit, It made me a little uneasy or uncomfortable in a weird sort of way. It’s so blunt and painfully honest. You really do deserve a lot of credit for being able to open up your heart and mind and to face such extraordinary challenges and then to also share them. You’re cool.Very cool.

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