Well, I got Alfonse out hiking with me this morning per our agreement.  He was really challenged, complained of feeling depressed and kept asking when we could turn around.  I took him as we both agreed on to a road in a mountain park that is 1.2 miles each way but at the end of which are all the trail heads that lead in to the park.

South Mountain

1.2 miles out, just as we turned around

I told him we’d start with the road then progress to the trails in time.  Poor guy was miserable.  But he kept going.  I found myself getting frustrated as he consistently walks several paces behind me even if we are walking the same pace.  What a metaphor.  I constantly am working on getting him to walk next to me.  But today he was simply having a hard time keeping up with my pace and I was having a hard time slowing down to his and listening to his complaining.

So on the way back, I just decided to walk at my own pace and wait for him back at the parking lot.  As I walked ahead, getting the exercise I came to get, I reflected on the metaphor of this too.  How if I keep slowing my own pace down to meet his, in any form, I get frustrated and he gets reinforced in his limitations.  If I just go at my own pace and let him go at his then we can both feel we got what we needed.


At the end of the hike, which took just over an hour, he shared how his depression had lifted and how he was proud that he accomplished it.  And that he still wanted to keep doing it twice a week with me.  He said “I don’t think I can do the Ridge Trail just yet” so I replied that that was fine–we could hike out on the road, he could go back that way and I could go on the Ridge Trail and we’d meet back at just about the exact same time I figure.  He agreed that it will be a good template to see how much we both improve in strength and stamina.


We’re finding our way on how to stay connected, each walking our own paces in life.

We see the lawyer on Monday with Manny Walker, John’s heroic advocate (who we both LOVE) to strategize how to get Dr. Yasinski on his team as his primary Psychiatrist even though they’ve told us we can’t do that.  Well, guess what?  I think we can.  Especially since his Psychiatrist moved to another State and has not been replaced and the “drive by” fill in Psychiatrist didn’t appear last week for John’s appt.  So…we have some leverage now.  It’s time.

He’s way over medicated and sluggish and flat.  We need a good, steady Dr. to manage all of that so we’re bringing in the big guns to make that happen.  Manny even said “Chick may just show up with us to the team meeting this week”.  LOVE IT (Chick is the lawyer).  It’s sad you have to get so much support to just get minimum services but we’re lucky we can do it.  And John, unfortunately, needs to stay connected to that system for classes, labs and meds.

Meanwhile I feel like I’m getting stronger.  My cardiovascular strength was a lot better than I expected this morning and my legs much stronger (30 DAY SQUAT CHALLENGE!).  I also filled up my bike tires this morning and went on a little ride.  COOL AIR finally!

We got fruit smoothies after our hike and are finishing up our soups tonite for tomorrow’s’ soup swap. Alfonse made his own veggie soup all by himself, including googling the recipe!  And it’s delicious!

Will fill ya in on soups manana.  I love me a Soup Swap!!


Happy Trails!


One thought on “pacing

  1. Hi Kathy,

    I like how you and John agreed to compromise. It really is a fair way to both get something out of the exercise program. I’m thrilled that you’re already seeing results.

    Soup swap sounds wonderful. I had a bowl of chili with my brunch earlier today.(YUM)!!!

    Love and Healing Hugs,
    Paula ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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