When is enough?
When do you realize the hospital is a better environment for someone than at home, yours or anyone’s? The hospital that’s like a prison really.
I just drove back from Sedona listening to a diatribe about how our father has bugged our homes and cars for 20 years, how I’m evil and a liar, how Lucifer is his “real father”, how the FBI and CIA is monitoring us, how I participated in murdering my sister, how I want to murder him with cyanide “every day”, etc. etc. etc.
It’s called Paranoid Schizophrenia and this is at it’s worst.
I meet with the team and the Psychiatrist there today at 3pm to decide what we do next.
Clearly the new medication is not kicking in.
I’m exhausted, awakened this morning at 4:30 to yelling at voices.
Chain smoking, locking himself in his bedroom, talking to voices, isolating. This is no way for either of us to live.
And I’m trying to get out of town for a week on Saturday.
Honestly I think we are both at the end of our rope.
Maybe I just need to let go and see what happens.
Please if you are a praying type, we sure need it right now.
I don’t want to put him in the hospital but I can’t BE the hospital anymore either. This has pushed my limits of coping at this level of crisis 24/7.
Enough, already. Enough.